All articles by Ian Martin – Page 7

  • Opinion

    Ian Martin

    2005-08-26T00:00:00Z

    There are plans for a book-burning series fronted by Melvyn Bragg called Lit!

  • Opinion

    Ian Martin

    2005-08-12T00:00:00Z

    Jim Stirling’s Number One Turkey was never eighties enough. It would definitely be enhanced by sticking a big mullet on it

  • Opinion

    Ian Martin

    2005-08-05T00:00:00Z

    We wish to create a united front , defying the establishment squares who laugh at our round shapes and spindly legs!

  • Opinion

    Ian Martin

    2005-07-29T00:00:00Z

    It wasn’t long before the AI unit became self-aware and realised it was in charge of a building full of civil servants…

  • Opinion

    Vitruvius

    2005-07-22T00:00:00Z

    One of my apprentices has used dentilled cornices in the Doric order, and applied triglyphs above the voluted Ionic! Twat

  • Opinion

    Ian Martin

    2005-07-15T00:00:00Z

    Activists dressed as millworkers will lobby to protect historic houses, having left their children at home dosed with laudanum

  • Opinion

    Ian Martin

    2005-07-08T00:00:00Z

    The Tamworth bid even allowed for overnight covers on the long-jump sandpit to stop cats shitting in it.

  • Opinion

    Ian Martin

    2005-06-24T00:00:00Z

    In order to save money, English Heritage bosses have stopped replacing retired workers with other retired workers

  • Opinion

    Ian Martin

    2005-06-17T00:00:00Z

    Asked what Le Corbusier is famous for, people seem to think it’s either stylish cookware or a saucy nightclub

  • Opinion

    Ian Martin

    2005-06-10T00:00:00Z

    How can I introduce ‘comfort and humour’ into my boutique hotel? Two layers of carpet and a clown on reception

  • Opinion

    Ian Martin

    2005-06-03T00:00:00Z

    At Tyburn Hill, capital punishment will be brought into the 21st century via a live feed from Texas

  • Opinion

    Ian Martin

    2005-05-27T00:00:00Z

    Civility in our publicly accessible privatised social spaces increases in line with the number of things banned

  • Opinion

    Ian Martin

    2005-05-20T00:00:00Z

    Culture, as Suzi Towel constantly reminds us, never sleeps — ‘or if it does, it’s only in little naps’

  • Opinion

    Ian Martin

    2005-05-13T00:00:00Z

    What does the modern city need? Grim, free-range cyclists elevated to the status of an urban aristocracy

  • Opinion

    Ian Martin

    2005-05-06T00:00:00Z

    I spent an hour or so sharpening pencils and reassigning them to their proper positions in the HB spectrum

  • Opinion

    Ian Martin

    2005-04-29T00:00:00Z

    Another chart shows the key marginal constituencies. Not just architects, but zookeepers, viola players and nuns

  • Opinion

    Ian Martin

    2005-04-22T00:00:00Z

    Strict vagrancy bylaws mean that poor Dorothy can’t stay overnight in the gated community of Munchkinland…

  • Opinion

    Ian Martin

    2005-04-15T00:00:00Z

    BOOK SPECIAL:10 spring titles for the discriminating reader to leave on the passenger seat

  • Opinion

    Ian Martin

    2005-04-08T00:00:00Z

    As we meander our way through coffee and biscuits, lunch, high tea, cocktails and dinner, the standard improves

  • Opinion

    Ian Martin

    2005-04-01T00:00:00Z

    My flood-plain houses are to be called in. Good luck retrieving the Alpine Bungalow model — it’s halfway to France by now